Too often
I find myself wondering
what happened
so that I stopped emotionally growing
at age seventeen

Because
I cannot seem to
leave that place
where I seemed to have left myself
or maybe
life left me behind

Because
it has been all fuzzy
since then
time spent
waiting for something to start
for real things to come
for flowers to bloom
and the heavens to glow
and music to fill my soul

But instead
all I can seem to do
is look back
and wonder
where it was support to start
and how I missed that train
and where I can go
to find myself
and start here
somehow
from there