I try to recall
how I ended up
dancing that distant dance
those years with you

Come pray with me
you asked

I will pray with you
I replied

And so we met
plainly
cordially
quietly
in the library
and muttered
wishing words
asking for youthful
and holy
and grand
and kind things
and to be love
over many
many days

In a season
when I was in a quiet storm
a bloom bouncing in the wind
looking
longing
for light

In time
I felt your radiance
so I tried to glow
mostly for me
but partly for you
but partly for you

And when I became luminescent
you were incandescent
and I was happy
in the light

My storm finally settled
in my choice to surrender
and to just let go
and to love others
(an not partly for you)

Still
later
after many calendar pages had fallen
and we no longer prayed together
at the library
but I was the nicest person around

I knew I loved you
like a meteor exploding in the sky
and as best as I could imagine it
in my mind
I hoped that you could know it

And then I found out
you could not love me
and I never learned why

Then the light
burned my eyes

And I prayed alone
for a long while

And I had to
quit dancing