Betty Carolyn Rhodus

On Saturday, September 29th, Betty Rhodus passed away.

Betty was a big presence in the lives of the Weltons, starting back in the late 70’s when Dad moved us across town from the bustling Juan Tabo and Copper area to a house in a new, largely undeveloped swath in Albuquerque’s Northeast Heights.

Our new neighborhood at that time was an island of parallel streets surrounded by a brown sea of mesa. It remained an island of sorts for a number of years until the developers found us, and our neighbors on this island were neighborly, and Betty was our closest neighbor.

Shortly after our arrival, David and Betty Rhodus and their two children- Susan and Mike- moved into the house next to ours and lived there for most of my growing up years.

Our street was a home to many kids, and our island was a place where the kids were mandated to spend most of their free time outside playing, in the front yard of one house or another. In a short time, Betty and David’s house became a favorite gathering place for the street urchins because the Rhodus’s had a trampoline in their back yard, and an open gate to get to it. The trampoline was a favorite place where us kids could meet and talk and plot and imagine and argue and bounce. The Rhodus’s seemed to not mind having the kiddos around.

They didn’t.

Our families bonded pretty well. My sister had a great girl friend in the neighbor girl. I and my brother had another boy to hang with on the street. And my mom found a close friend in the neighbor mom.

Over the years, us kids grew up and moved on. Betty and David decided that their marriage wasn’t working, and separated. Kids finished high school. Betty moved out of the house next door. Kids got engaged and then married. Betty and David remained close. Susan, their daughter, and my sister remained good friends. Betty and my mom remained close friends.

And sometime within or around that narrative, Betty met her greatest life challenge: cancer.

And Betty fought it. Fiercely. Through several remissions. For nearly two decades, I think- maybe even more.

She fought it long enough to see her kids have kids of their own, which was a big motivation for her. She wanted to know her grandkids, and she did. She saw her first graduate from high school, and her second almost graduate from high school. She saw her third go from a kid to a string bean pre-teen.

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The funeral service was held for her yesterday, and there was a open time when people could share what they remembered and loved about her. The main theme out of these recollections was that Betty was compassionate and loving. She didn’t judge people. She was kind. She loved to laugh. She was strong-willed. She loved to be with family and friends.

Her former husband, still her close friend, said he met her when she was 5 at school in a small Kentucky town. He knew he liked the little girl, but he didn’t realize he would marry her after high school. They became friends early in life and remained friends throughout their lives. even after their marriage ended, they somehow found themselves spending important family moments and holidays together. They did not let go of one another. “I realized some years after our divorce that Betty was a perfect mother”, David said in his reflections on her in the service. “I just realized in recent years that Betty was also the perfect wife.”

Betty was always happy and positive when we saw her, despite her physical struggles. She was always interested in the lives of the people around her.

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It was at the service yesterday that I saw the above photo of her for the first time- a picture that Susan brought for display of Betty as a young woman. I knew her as a thirty-something’s neighbor mom who always kept her hair short and quite often looked a little tired to me.

She is younger in the photo, a pretty young, but what I noticed most in the image is a feature that never changed about her.

Compassionate, kind eyes.

These eyes represent the soul of Betty well.

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Betty Rhodus was 75 when she passed, three-quarters of a century old. I am grateful she saw 10- perhaps 20- years more than her body may have wanted to hang around.

And I am grateful to have been a part of her extended family.

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Text of the graveside devotional.

Rhodus Commemoration (PDF)