“Welcome to Omni Space Adventures, where No Star is Too Far™. My name is Niall. How may I help you today?”

His face warped and fuzzed on the view screen.

“Yes- hello- are you real?”

“Of course. Punch me, and I will bawl my eyes out.”

“That is a strange thing to say.”

“It is, but I am appealing to the idea that borgs do not have tear ducts or feel emotion.”

“Whoa- it almost sounds like you are a borg, bringing this topic up!”

“If I was a borg, you would see my antennae. We are too cheap here for cosmetic creativity.”

“That is also a troubling statement, since you are a space travel company. Doesn’t that suggest you might poorly maintain your travel pods?”

“It might- or it may simply suggest we pour our resources into what matters- the Ascender 2400. How may I help you?”

“I… I was interested in a one way trip.”

“That is our specialty. We will get you to where you want to go, light years from living.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to live! I just want to travel, and see the stars.”

“We specialize in star journeys. You tell us where you want to go, and we make sure we can get you there. Do you have a destination in mind?”

“Just somewhere different. Somewhere that not everyone goes to.”

“Are you thinking regionally, or some place in the distance?”

“It just depends on what I can afford.”

“How many individuals will be in this travel party?”

“I am really just interested in learning about your products, but the party would be just me.”

“I see. Let us consider the financial aspects of your journey. Do you have a home?”

“I rent.”

“Are you married? Do you have a spouse?”

“No, I do not.”

“Pets?”

“No pets.”

“Children?”

“I do have two children, but they are adults and do not live with me.”

“Do you like your children?”

“Of course- they are my children.”

“But if releasing one of your children could help you to take this trip, would you have one you would prefer to redeem over the other?”

“That is a horrible question.”

“Perhaps. But it has become a viable means of barter in the last few years. It means little to your children, and you are permitted the journey of your dreams.”

“People do that? ‘Redeem’ their children? I cannot believe that’s a thing.”

“It’s a new option since the Free Space legislation came into effect.”

“That’s horrible.”

“But, hypothetically, if you wanted to redeem one of your children over the other to fund a Silver Package, which would give you a truly memorable journey to a mid-space destination, which child would you prefer to redeem?”

Silence.

“Probably Sam. Anise has children and a good family. Poor Sam- he’s just never been able to put it together.”

“Samuel August Morgensen?”
“Wha- how do you-”

“Your younger child?”

“Wha- yes, my son- how’d you-”

“We can link your voice signature to family records. I know- it is borderline startling, but it is common practice in distance commerce these days. The auroras around Taura Tel in the Pria system are fantastic this century, I am hearing. It is a quiet transport, and you will awake in the splendors of an all-surrounding star show, unmatched from what I hear by most anything in the universe. And, look at this- you are lucky- our Omni Silver packages are on discount this week, selling for 30% off. And this discount is applicable with any coupons you may also possess.”

“How is the food?”

“We think you will be pleased with the array of meal options attached to this plan. Of course, your nutrition will be managed intravenously, but we provide taste capsules that simulate the consumption of exotic meals.”

“Do you have Eggs Benedect? And Reshmi Kebabs? And sake?”

“We can simulate the flavor of any food that is in our menu library, which features over 300,000 food and drink items. Of course, for your protection, we cannot actually assist in your inebriation by providing alcohol in the feeding system, but we do have an array of neurostimulants to provide you satisfaction, pleasure, comfort, and euphoria throughout your journey.”

“Can I smoke?”

“Yes, you will be able to smoke in the comfort of your capsule.”

“Oh good. I cannot let that small pleasure go.”

“When would the enjoyment of such a trip be possible for you?”

“Wow. I wish. If I could swing something like this, I would. I need a new start, a new beginning.”

“I understand. Many of our clients feel the same way.”

“But I cannot offer a child as a source of funding for such a selfish adventure.”

“The truth is, they never really know that that they have been redeemed. We make it as unobtrusive as possible.”

“What does that mean?”

“Our acquisition methods are sudden and mostly undetectable. Your loved ones will continue living their lives largely the same as they are now. Periodic payments are largely imperceptible.”

“How can that work? I am paying you for a seemingly exorbitant experience from some undisclosed medium removed imperceptibly from my child. It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“I am sorry. Company policy dictates that I cannot go into details on currency and recovery methods. We do guarantee that your loved ones will appear to continue to live a normal life, with minimal- and usually unnoticeable- side effects.”

“This is so strange. I cannot even imagine.”

“Well, again, it is just one of a number of payment methods to allow people these once in a lifetime journeys.”
“From your promotional materials, one of these trips seems to good for words.”

“We have been told that they are from time to time, especially by spouses, children, and intimate friends of the voyager.”

“Does it matter that I am a large man and in horrendous shape?”

“It does not. Our capsules are modifiable to accommodate the most ill fit travelers.”

Silence.

“I’ve got to get out of here.”

“We specialize in such journeys, sir. We are sure you will be pleased with your flight and your experiences.”

Silence.

“We’ll take care of the details for you. Simply accept the offer on your Legiscreen for RKT-241, and we will take care of you and arrange everything.”

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

“Thank you, Mr. Arthur Milford Mortgensen, for your reservation. Your confirmation number, K12XFT4571, is retrievable from the Legascreen for future reference. We will gladly assume control of your personal assets and exact the remaining cost of your Omni Silver Cruise from the available resources of your second child, Samuel August Morgensen. Your are booked on a one-way flight to the aurora fields of Taura Tel, which will commence in seven hours, following your arrival and preparation for travel at Omni Interstellar Starport 42. We hope you enjoy your experience, and thank you for your business. Please enter the coupon codes of any coupons you may possess into the Legiscreen that can be applied to this transaction.”

“What- what if I change my mind? What if I decide I don’t want-”.

Knocking on the apartment door.