It was about three years ago this month that I somehow ended up sending a Facebook friend request to this guy named Derek on the East Coast.

I’d like to say I remember the exact reason for the outreach, but I don’t recall what prompted it.

What I do remember is, as a web developer hack myself, being impressed with his online work and his website for his company, Tunnel 7, which I visited at one time, and also, through a probable work-related issue, getting a response from him in a web developer’s forum dealing with a problem.

The friend request was sent though, and in a short time it was accepted, and soon after that our personal posts began to pop up on each other’s wall.

Derek in time became someone I paid more attention to on Facebook, if only because he was humble and cordial talking to friends on wall posts, and at the same time, clearly exceptional in his work and committed to his trade as he shared thoughts daily. I was appreciative of his technical abilities as a web developer, and in general, as a careful thinker.

I also grew in time to appreciate his practice of posting what work he was doing or wrapping up in the office on any given day. Self-employed and driving his business, he let his connections know what he was drilling through at any given time, and reading those posts, I was encouraged by his transparent accountability. He didn’t have to say what he was doing hour-by hour. But by doing so, he kept his momentum going throughout the workday, and it encouraged me to be mindful of my work habits.

In time, our brief conversations moved away from mere quip and work-related exchanges into a few other topics of shared interest.

Derek, when he’s not grinding out apps for his clients, talks for his local chamber of commerce, or pitches for prospects, is an aspiring author and a fan of good books, undoubtedly (I say with confidence) to be published one day. I’m pretty sure he applies the strong work ethic and personal discipline he uses in web development to his writing practices.

Derek is also a baseball fan, specifically of the Toronto Blue Jays, which I am refreshed to know since he lives in Red Sox country, and he could’ve hopped onto that train any time since he’s been out there. In the Jays’ run-up into the playoffs this year, with the Cubs seemingly riding the same wave, we both were sure the Bluejay-Cubs World Series was cued for posterity, and it seemed sure to happen. Until the playoffs began, and both were hammered in championship series.

When you are friends on the interweb and social media, the reality is, you are never truly too sure what your friendship really is if you just swap posts here and there. You know you think of each other when you are prompted. And for most web-based connections, the distance and separation implicit in virtual relationships usually says they stop there. You aren’t going to hang out together after work on Friday. You aren’t necessarily vacationing together next June. The reality is, your connection may quell in a few months, and in many of those cases, the algorithm governing connection and visibility in the social media app will probably make sure you see less of each other in time. Such is relationship on the web.

But it’s been a great and unique experience for me with that East Coast guy, Derek.

Aside from commiserating about our teams, I’ve also tried to pay attention to what he was reading through GoodReads, since we both used that app. A fan of modern fiction and pretty contemporary authors, Derek’s reading list tipped me towards a few titles I decided to read this year- and I watched TV a little less in 2015 and read a little more. He became a bit of a guide into contemporary writers of merit, and of the books he’s suggested I read, I’ve not been disappointed.

So, three years after connecting on Facebook, I saw an offering from the company of an author I really like- Stephen Pressfield, of Black Irish Books– which essentially sold 7 books of his and his business partner’s, all basically on writing and the writing process, for the price of one of them. In the lot was one I thought Derek would really enjoy- “The Story Grid”, by Shawn Coyne- about architecting narrative. “Heck. The one would be a nice gift for him at Christmas”, I thought, and with that, I had no qualms at just chucking the whole bundle at him.

“This is not for reciprocation”, I told him in a note I set to him about the package. “You are a writer, and these will help you write better. I really just wanted you to have the one, but the rest are freebies you can do whatever with”, I said.

He received them and graciously thanked me. And I was happy to share them, a set I had also bought for myself, with him.

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It’s a week later, and two packages waited for me when I got home tonight- a box, and a bubble-wrapped envelope.

Not sure what I had order to get these two packages, I was curious.

When I opened the box, there on top of the enclosed pile was “McTeague” by Frank Norris.

The book he had suggested this summer I should read, since it was one of his favorites.

And behind it, and in the envelope, were five other novels and story collections by authors he likes: Steinbeck, Donald Barthelme, Raymond Carver, David Foster Wallace, William H. Gass.

Reading I look forward to for the next half a year or more, no doubt.

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I think it’s pretty common that most online acquaintances usually remain just that: two people periodically tossing thoughts at each other- not necessarily expecting or demanding that the other field them per se. It’s a great moment when you realize one of these virtual things you build with someone else is actually a real friendship.

Elie Wiesel put it well when he observed: “Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”

Thanks for sharing some of your interest and your favorites with me, Derek.

And thanks for the books.

And for your friendship.

That’s one friend request I’ve made that has lived up to its name.

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Derek Allard is the owner and proprietor of Tunnel 7, a web design, development and social media strategy firm based in Easthampton, Massachusetts.