It’s New Year’s, which means it’s time to get up close and personal with ourselves. We get to wipe the slate clean and think about all the things we would differently if we could this year. Some things we can change, and some we can’t. It is the season of resolutions, though, and as much as I am resolved to be resolute, I will not make any- if only because I know myself. I stink at keeping them.

Still, if I could do a few things differently this year, I would. And hopefully, a few of them, I will. A few desires, in brief.

Less kidney stones, more water. One in 2014 was enough- one would think I would learn my lesson.

Less coffee, more tea. This relates in part to the first suggestion, since caffeine doesn’t really help impair stone development. I’m pretty sure my addiction to flavored creamers is also responsible for extra junk around my mid-section.

Less sugar. The truth is, if it’s around, I will eat it. My sweet tooth drives me around, and certainly affects my health. More carrots. More fruit. Less Reese’s peanut butter cups as a 2 PM snack each day at work.

Less wishing, more planning. How much of my life do I spend thinking about options and possibilities, and then being down when they pass? Too much. And they pass because I just don’t do. I have a short circuit between ideation and activation. I don’t commit to things enough. To be happy in your life, you have to do some things that you love, and if you like to do them with other people, then you have to plan to do those things with other people. That’s how it works. Decide and do. Quit cogitating.

Less busyness, more value. Value is what happens when you do something that produces something else that makes your, or another’s, life richer. Value is a product of investment and improvement. Value is created in products that are beautiful or helpful or time-saving or pleasurable or fruit-bearing, and durable. Value is not necessarily a result of doing a lot of stuff at a lot of places, thinking that effort equals benefit. Not all activity is productive. More value comes from being more careful about what you pour your time into day by day. laboring for effect is a product of what you do and where you do it and why you do it and who you do it for. Overlook the “what” and consider your where’s and who’s and why’s to see if your activity has value. If it doesn’t really, it’s just busyness.

Less watching, more writing. I wouldn’t be surprised if I watched 75 movies last year- not to mention sitcom series episodes that added to that TV time. At two hours a pop, that’s 150 hours, and let’s add time for picking up DVDs and the TV show reruns, and I probably had 300 hours (at least) tied up in the tube. Maybe that’s not a lot in reality, but in terms of life enjoying spare time, it seems sizable. I tell myself I WANT to be a writer, but I’m lucky to write an hour every two weeks. My priorities need shuffling. Less consuming. More producing.

Less Facebook, more face time. Let’s face it- all of those people I track and interact with on social media problem wouldn’t come running if I needed a hand moving or even had an open house fun night. Friends are present and presence. I’ve met some great people online- several I can think of I try and actively keep up with and actively learn from (thank you, Derek A.)- but the mass of them really have no interest in my personal life, and no involvement in my world. It’s those around me that will take time out and come get a cup of coffee (or tea) with me if I need an empathetic ear or a helping hand at home. Those virtual friends will just keep posting selfies and scenery photos and furniture finds. They are not really the friends we all need. People who can hug you, smell you when you have’t showered, and stick a finger in your face when you need correction and redirection. Friends aren’t people who just like every one of your posts. They walk by you through life. I need more of those, and I need to also rediscover how to be one of those. Other people need the same presence from me.

Less me, more you. We’re all in part driven by self-interest. We all have to live our lives, and manage our selves. But simply living to the thundering demands of “me” is tiring. And whether it’s through self-pity or depression or remorse or self-analysis or shopping, all of these things keep me just thinking about me. My wants. My needs. My failures. My faults. My fears. My, my, my… Enough already. In you is where love starts in me. In me thinking less about me and more about you. And you. And You. If life is really found in loving others, than life is found in less of me and more of you. Self, get over yourself. I need more of Him, and after Him, more of you. That’s where more of love and more of life comes from.

Less “No”s, more “Yes”s. Like Jim Carrey’s character in “Yes Man”, it is easy to just get in the mode of saying no to anything: to new opportunities, to new friends, to new experiences. I often do it out of bitterness and fear and (self-)doubt. There is a “more of you” often found in the simple act of saying yes to new things. Trying new things brings us around new faces, introducing to a range of new possible friendships, getting us out and active and engaged in our lives, instead of staring at a stream of posts on a scree where we end up envying the apparent bliss found in the lives of everyone else.

Less acquaintances, more friendships. Less watching, more doing.

This is a list of non-resolutions I find it real easy to “like”. Hopefully, just more in real time, and less on social media.