Tonight after a good but laborious day at work, I came home and decided I had better keep on the project. Resistance tries to steer you away from creativity, Pressfield says. I sense that strongly now, and as I try to listen to my interests and intentions, I am also trying to hear Pressfield yelling behind me- “Do it now! If you will do it, start it! And once you start, don’t let up.” Well, sort of pretending he’s back there doing that is kinda helpful.

So once I got home, I made a horrible steak on the grill, put on my blue jeans, and decided “Here we go.”

Although I’ve taken time to plan the project, my mind crawls with inadequacies that suggest I’ve missed some crucial consideration, and I also anticipate being seven boards in, and then realizing I’ve put the wrong pieces together. “Measure twice, cut once”, the old adage goes. I get caught up measuring fifteen times, and then once more for good measure. Mine is often the fear of starting. I didn’t acquire my father’s quick eye for details and for cautions to consider and for excellent work in production. I’m generally someone who is always hoping I can just get things “in the ballpark.” And yet, I want them to turn out well.

Boards cut, I thought, well maybe I can get two levels down tis evening. And then I discovered I was driving the nails easier than I thought. I smacked the lower boards quite a few times, missing the nail I was aiming at. But I improved as I kept going. And an hour later, I was rolling pretty well.

And with the third level almost added to the box, I ran out of nails. Having never built anything, I took a scan of my energy level and my ambition. 8:30? It’s not too late. Lowe’s is open. The end of this phase is in sight.

20 minutes later, I had returned with 2 more boxes of 4″ 20 D nails, and the hammering commenced. And in another 20 minutes, the 4th level of boards was on the box. Pushing against the top plank in the middle of the long side, the L didn’t pop up or overturn, so I guess it’ll do.

Yes! I once had a vision. I made a plan. And now, amazingly enough, I am making something.

Not bad for a hesitant headcase like me.

Next up- Tim suggested I line the box with some landscaping fabric before I fill it because the landscape lumber has been treated. The box is meant to grow some vegetables, so that is good sense to me. I’ll try to get to the lining this weekend. I may tack the lining to the top of these current walls, and then add a fifth level to cover the layers. We’ll see.

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I also, for some reason, had a poem meet me today. I was working in the morning when I took a break to watch a “Britain’s Got Talent” video someone had shared on Facebook. Those videos always get to me- seeing amazing people shock and stun Simon and the other judges with these remarkable voices coming out of plain old bodies. And I glowed with joy. Yes, swim in this, my heart said. This is one of the things that makes life so wonderful. And then the poem came. The title, Adsum, is Latin for “I am here.” Being here is a great gift indeed.