While overall today was a well executed day, it was also a challenging one.

I started the day working off of my newest to-do list, which I am trying to incorporate into my life because I so often need help getting things done, and I had two items on it that were going to be hard: getting my taxes done before tomorrow night’s deadline, and, more dismally, contacting a client who I failed to complete some work for. The request was for some help writing some copy, and in this particular case, on the numerous days I got up early and tried to be brilliant over the last few months, nothing ever showed up for me. And then I failed to show up for her when she would email me, asking me how things were going.

I bring this up because, while I hate to fail other people, when I got in a spot with this one, I didn’t ask for help. I didn’t just say “No, I can’t finish this- please find someone else.” I kept pretending some magic burst of genius and motivation would help me crank out something quick and incredible.

Not this time.

Instead, I failed to communicate my creative problems, and to give her other options.

And, I am pretty sure I broke a few friendships out of the deal.

I don’t take the losses easily. I wait for recriminations. I expect punishment. And yes, there are consequences when we fail others. But I’ve spent much of today waiting for the sky to fall.

So Edison would say, “What did you learn?”

If you say you will do something for someone, be a hundred percent sure. And once you say yes, make it a priority and burn it out. Communicate all along the way. Don’t stall and go silent. Admit to problems right away. And ask for help.

Asking for help is not the easiest thing for me to do in most areas of my life. I have a lifetime of practice acting like I have it all together, or pretending that I am okay and do not need help.

Well, pooey on that. If you won’t ask others for help, you won’t grow much- as a human, or as a friend.

I didn’t hear back from my (former) client today, following my forward to her of my apology note. I’m still anxious about that, although I made massive apologies and sent what copy I had produced on to her.

Sigh.

I did get my taxes pretty much done, though.

The other peculiarity of this day happened around 4 in the afternoon, when my health insurance company called to let me know the cost of a CT scan requested by a doctor I had seen recently. “Your insurance will pick up $4000, but you will need to pay $2000 out of pocket to cover your piece.” $6000? For a CT scan? I balked. “Ummm, I don’t think I need that scan any more. That is ostentatious.”

I ended up wondering what a CT scan went for, in real life, and so a quick search led me to Healthcare Blue Book, a site that gives the average cost of medical procedures by regions around the country. What did the site show various types of CT scans going for at hospitals around Albuquerque? $600-$1000. Presbyterian Health Care and Presbyterian Insurance, what are you up to? I ain’t paying that.

Tough day. But, I got through my list items- so that is progress. I did my hard things. Time to make my list for tomorrow.