“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” ~ Luke 15:20

It’s been a good day, but my mind has wandered all over within it.  I’ve thought about the unceasing love of God and the fragility of life.  I’ve thought about my own dark history and the hidden river of shame that has flowed within me for years.  I’ve wondered at the futility of faith when circumstances crush a man, and yet how overwhelmingly hopeful some are in the face of approaching death.   I’ve thought about the strength and glory of the man who can keep his word, and who will not take advantage of another.  I’ve also looked into the sky in the cold, crisp evening, and marveled in its clarity at the scintillating stars.  I’ve wondered with the rabble at the rabbi on the hill who says “Repent, for the Kingdom is by you.”  And I’ve wondered about the kingdom of heaven and the king, who extends his hand in invitation to a life of love.  I listened to a man bedridden by a blocked colon bless his wife and his friends, and remind me that every day is a marvel to enjoy and to use wisely, and that I should do just those things.  I’ve prayed heartfelt words of love and compassion in silence.  And I also engaged my erotic imagination to escape for moments at a time, from myself, from my purpose, from duties and chores.  I’ve had a few chuckles today, and had moist eyes twice, thinking about the past and also about another person I hurt once.  I’ve tried to do a few small things to let a few people know I love them.  I was also greeted by name by the coffee shop girl, which meant I stood out enough for her in her life to remember me.  I had a few good conversations with some colleagues and was exceptionally productive today at work.  I got to taste a warm raspberry mocha- several times, actually, as I drank it.   I was thanked for being a leader and good teacher, which made me shirk briefly (I never feel I am ). And I was reminded that the author of the first Gospel in the New Testament was a tax collector.  I was reminded today that while the cold encases everything everywhere today, it will soon again be warm, and the birds will whistle and flutter about and colorful flowers will bloom and people will still be in hospitals while others are dancing and others are deeply aching over a broken relationship and lost love.  Even then, some books will still remain unread and some words yet unsaid that needed saying, and fall will be around the corner.  But then there will still be people who still smile, who give their time to keep mile marker 57 clean, who clean and photograph strays in the animal shelters, who give their weekends to work on a Habitat home, who decide to give a kidney for a loved one, who pay it forward in the Starbuck’s drive-thru for the car behind them, who choose to adopt disheveled and damaged little boys and girls for life.  I think about these last things, and I realize I’ve seen and heard and thought about a lot of wonderful things today, and I thank God for love and loving people and the fact your life can be trashed and somehow he still wants to help you fix it and make it incredible, and I am silenced in that with goose bumps.  And  then I realize again that love is here for you and me.  And I am humbled and grateful. And I say one more quiet thank you in the inner spaces of my heart for being loved, and for having been loved, and for the help I had to be able to love others more than usual today.