It seemed to start well enough. Our church campus at Highland started two years ago. After about six months, a friend and I decided we would support the campus and start a small group. After all, our church strives to built on small group communities.

Out of the gates, we had a good core group of members join us. We had a study focus. We had a great location near the campus. Our campus was new, and there was a zeal to grow. And for a while, our core group held. The enthusiasm remained. The studies went well.

But over time, as with all of life, things changed. Swaps at the top of our campus leadership had a little impact on people coming and going. An active family slid into a sports season with their son, and they disappeared. Another young couple appeared, with enthusiasm, and started attending the group. And then a few other core folks left.

We fast-forward about a year an a half later, and the group still exists, but things have been turbulent. With the arrival of summer this year, attendance dropped again on group night. One of our core couples was gone for a month. Another core member was gone for a few weeks. And our excited young couple, unresolved about their place on our campus after a year, went the way of the prior couple that had been strong in our group. They, living so far from Highland, and with health issues limiting their regular involvement, made a decision to find a church, a situation, and a group that fit them better.

A handful of other people have come and visited our group over the last half a year. A few have signaled that they like it and they’ve stuck around. But the numbers for weekly attendance have remained low.

At our high point, we probably have had 10 adults active in the group. At our low, we’ve had no one come on group night.

What do you do when your small group doesn’t grow?

I don’t know.

It’s been a definite source of anxiety to me, if only because I am the default leader, and I continue to struggle trying to be that leader.

My guess that in a case or two, I have had a pretty strong hand on whether individuals joined the group and stayed, or later made the decision to leave. I teach. I try to organize. I try to shepherd the thing. But I am not the best at working with people.

I get to antsy when things don’t seem to be going right. I take group departures too personally, carrying all of the weight when visitors either don’t join us or later leave us.

I’ve tried to encourage the group to follow the church’s model for small group ministry: get people to commit to a group for a time period, to create accountability and dedication. That has never taken.

I’ve also tried to get people to accept some responsibilities within the group to make it their own, a mini-family they are participating in. But most everyone in the group has been resistant to embracing and performing such roles. And so much of the weekly responsibilities seem to have fallen back onto me.

What do you do when your small group doesn’t grow?

I don’t know.

I have a few books I can read. I have men around me I can talk to. I can pray. I can ask for insights from others about what would make people want to hang around, what would get them excited to be with us week after week. And I need to do some of these things.

But maybe, more importantly, what I need to do is to not worry about it.

Jesus taught, “Love God with all your heart, and all your mind and all your strength.” He then followed that with “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

And I also think of Peter’s racing mind the day Jesus meets him on the beach and reinstates him as a disciple after Peter denied him three times. “But what about him?”, Peter asked, wondering how things were going to turn out for John.

Warmly, Jesus smiled and said, “I don’t think that’s your business, Peter. I’ve asked you to follow me.”

But what about these people that keep coming, and dropping by, and saying they like things, and then leaving, Lord?

I don’t think that is your ultimate business as a group leader, Bruce. Are you loving me with all of your soul? If so, are you striving to love those I put in your path?

Well, kind of, Lord.

I lead those who hear my voice to where I want them to go. All you can do is serve where you are, bless those who come and go and stay with you for a time, and love those I dip in and out of your lives. But your deal first as a leader- as a disciple- is to follow me yourself, and then be the best steward you can with what I put in your life.

Okay, Lord.

“Then all the disciples left him and ran away (Mark 14:50).”

Luckily, this is in His story, and it is not the end of the story.