I don’t know how long it has been since I have posted something here I’ve written.  I suppose I could look it up, but then again, we’ll all soon know when this is posted and it takes its place on the index page.  All I know is that it’s been a while, and that nags at me.

Mostly it nags at me because I seem to never have enough time to get myself sitting down in front of the computer with an empty page open before me, cursor blinking, anticipating what it will be that ends up in the white space.  But I also know that this “lack of time” bit is an excuse.

I enjoyed reading Stephen Pressfield’s “Turning Pro” in December because, if anything, he kicks you in the ass and says “Do something.  Do what you need to do.  And don’t make any excuses to not do it.  If your heart is saying you need to do it, by all means, make it your priority.  And follow through. And don’t give in to everything else that wants to keep you from not doing it.”  I love that book.  I love his message.  We all need a gentle butt-kicking from time to time to make us move forward in life.

But the truth is, once the book disappeared from my sight and returned to the bookshelf, I fell back to my old tricks, making excuses as to why I don’t do what it is I claim I want to do- write.

I don’t do it because I don’t make myself do it.

I keep running into the excuses of “I don’t have time”, or “I can’t focus right now”, or “There are more important things I need to do”, or my favorite, “I don’t know what to say.”  That one attacks me regularly.  The sad thing is I usually listen to it, and to all of the other excuses, and fail to see that by listening to them- by not writing- I can’t grow.  I can’t improve.  I can’t excel.  I can’t become the writer I claim I want to be.

But you know what?  We all get the same amount of time to use every day.  And we each choose how to use the time we’re given.  We all have the freedom to alter how we use our time, and to what to apply ourselves and when as each day rolls by.

Simply put, we each choose what’s important to us in our lives by what we give our time to.

And just like with a marriage or a family or a friend or a job or a garden, if we say we love something or someone but give it no time, we fool ourselves.

As Pressfield calls another of his titles, “Do the work.”  Anything you value is going to ask you to work for it.

So I am back to the writing desk, staring at the pristine legal pad which is asking me “What do you want to say today?”

I don’t know.

But I do know if I want to write- if I want to be a writer- I have to write.

Come on, brain- just say something.