So, I decided that for my New Years resolution, I would try to write more. I would try to write regularly. I would try to write for an hour, 5 days of the week. It started off pretty well, for two days. Then I missed one. And then I wrote one. And then I missed one. And here I am on day 6, scrambling for a “What to Write”. This has been my problem in the past. I just don’t know what to write about.

It’s not that there hasn’t been material going through my mind.

I could write about how every Sunday after I come from church, I just want to climb in the lounge chair or go into my bedroom and crash for the rest of the day. I pretty much want to do that every Sunday, which is a pretty big frustration, because Sunday afternoon is the best time of the weekend for getting things done. It is mellow. It is quiet. And I just want to sleep through the rest of the day. Being at this moment where I am in life, I feel I’ve already wasted lots of time and many years not producing, and now I finally hit a point where the urgency is there to be a productive person, but my will gives out. Chronic tiredness grabs me and keeps me from taking care of a lot of basics I need to be paying attention to. That tiredness is a frustration at this point in my life.

I could also write about the stunning news I heard from an old and great Christian friend about his long time marriage going into the dumpster because what seemed to be a comfortable relationship turned out to be empty and false, and he was caught off guard by the infidelity of his wife. We all see relationships and marriages fail, and that in general makes me sad, but when I see it happen to a relationship that was demonstrably grounded in Christ and in service to a church, in which the offender was also the primary champion of Christian practices and principles, I am confounded. “Why do serious Christians do bad things?” I am left asking, shaking my head. We all do dumb things, irresponsible things. We all make mistakes and bad choices. We all biff it off and on. But when a leader denies everything they promote to pursue something that is contrary to the righteousness they propound, it is baffling. Wounding. Disappointing. Harrowing. And grievous.

I could also write about sports or books or music or foods or other pastimes I regularly pursue, but that is part of my problem. Those things are pastimes- things that people do for enjoyment, to pass time- and are not productive times in my life, which I need to get away from. Whatever we let seize our thoughts and drive our mind around controls us, and God knows I let pastimes drive me around too, too much. I need less pastimes. I need more present times.

And so I go back to Steven Pressfield, and reflect on his thoughts about work. Do it, he says. Make yourself do it. Get rid of anything in your life that gets in the way of getting done what you need to get done. You know what you need to get done, because your heart tells you what it is, he would say. Don’t compromise any more. Don’t follow your addictions, don’t play around with distractions. Focus on your passions, and funnel that focus into production. Do the work, he says. Don’t let yourself off the hook, don’t listen to resistance, don’t make excuses. Do the work. This is the only way you will validate your life and your contributions. By doing.

And so I will try to do this writing thing.

Every author I’ve seen quoted about writing gives the simple wisdom that is common sense. “If you want to be a writer, write.” In the immediate, it doesn’t matter what you write about, I guess. A number of articles I’ve read have suggested that you block out time, and that you force words out of your head and onto a page or into your computer for a solid amount of time. Don’t censor it. Just write. “Well, it may not make a lot of sense?” It may not make a lot of sense now, but the exercise of taking time to write can help to open up the spicket in your brain that ideas come through. Bigger ideas will assemble in your head and crystallize. Words will work themselves nearer to one another for when you get serious on a particular essay or post. The process will assist your production.

I guess I have to trust those insights.

At this point, I write just because I like to write. I don’t really have a great American novel in mind. I don’t have a journal article or a magazine submission in mind. I don’t really have a plan for why I should write. I don’t have any stellar ideas or burning concepts I want to distribute to the world. I don’t feel like a fountain of wisdom on any topic in particular that others need to hear from. All I know is if you want to be a writer, you need to write. And if you write, you will be a writer.

So this is what I will try to do- and through this process, perhaps figure out a few topics I would like to explore more deeply. I would like to learn how to use words better. How to write more economically. More powerfully. More persuasively. More effectively. More personally.

I also think this commitment to take time and write regularly will be beneficial for me personally, if only because it will challenge me to think more clearly. I have a tendency to think in a scattered, undirected, sloppy way which leaves my mind wandering a zig zag course throughout my day. I think writing regularly will help me to think about my thinking.

I have a friend who recently has tried to impress on me the importance of positive thinking. I tend to shy away from any teaching that smacks of New Agey-ness, and positive thinking and visualization techniques have long been linked in my mind to cult leaders and humanistic self-improvement teachers. What I cannot forget, though, is that in Proverbs it is written, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).” And Paul the Apostle makes it clear in Philippians 4 that we should fill our minds with wholesome, positive, honest, and pure thoughts- that this practice is part of what it means to walk in peace with God. Our minds should be submitted to a regimen that keeps them focusing on the pure, the positive, and the productive. When I stop and think about how disciplined I am in my thought life, I am humbled and exhorted to change. Our minds should be filled and guided by the positive, which is product of the grace of God.

And so, I will give it a go and try to be faithful to write. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m pretty sure I am supposed to be a writer. From what I hear, if you do it, you are one.

Here’s to writing, and Writing Exercise #1.

At least I got one exercise completed today.