Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord, O my soul.
I will praise the Lord all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
~ Psalm 146:1-2

It’s been a good week the last week, although the more I seem to try and understand life, the less I seem to grasp how things work. What I am embracing more and more, though, is the vastness of God’s grace, and how ever present His love is for His children. I am continuing to face the reality of loneliness in my life, and am striving to accept it and sit down in it holding His hand.

We’ve been finally experiencing the arrival of winter with dropping temperatures this last week, and along with the falling temperatures, I have been trying to adjust my body and mind for the season.

This weekend I was blessed to have breakfast with a loved old friend on Saturday, and then to go see my buddy Chris’s son play in a soccer game out in Bernalillo. Albuquerque is blessed with a pretty rabid soccer subculture (consider the success of our college program here), and so appreciating soccer is part of being a native now, I think. Saturday night I broke away from my boycott of dance club activities and went to the annual Halloween dance. It was probably the first club event I’ve attended in two months. I enjoyed it, but I am in a phase where dancing is not as rewarding as it used to. I’ve felt an emptiness in doing it, and have rather just wanted to spend time with friends lately. Still, I appreciated seeing all of the friends I do have in the club now, which is a pretty good group of people.

I was really blessed on Thursday to have a surprise lunch with my sister who was downtown for jury duty, and who was let out early. I am so very blessed to have a sister I can open my heart to, who does not judge me, and who is always supportive of me with my ups and downs. I shared some things with her about my life that I haven’t share with a lot of people, and she was gracious with me. It is a gift to share your heart, broken as it may be, with someone and be loved regardless. I am at a place in my life that I just want to deal with things much better than I have in the past, and face things I have ignored dealing with for a long time. Sharing about these things is a big part of facing and dealing with them. My sister has always been gracious to me and remains an anchor in my life.

Sunday morning was a full schedule at church. Kid’s area setup at 7. Living Free group at 9:30. Service at 11. Kid’s area tear down at 12:30. We went as a campus to two services this week: one at 9:30, and the second at 11. It’s a full day at Sagebrush Highland, but it is a good day. Living Free remains an anchor time in my week.

The reason Living Free remains an anchor time in my week is because, in simplicity, it is a time of confession. There, we confess the reality of who we are as we deal with life. And we confess the reality of who He is. And in the gap between the two, we find His promises, His grace, His compassion, and His encouragement. In the gap between who we are and who He is, we find His words, and hope in Him. It is the gap covered by the Cross of Christ. The meetings are refueling, week after week.

After church, I had an invite to go to a Halloween party put on by some dance friends, but I came home and was just wasted. Physically and mentally. I pretty much tried to nap all afternoon and into the early evening, but it was fitful rest.

Tired, I finally read about two-thirds of I Kings about the emergence of Israel and Judah’s kings after Solomon, and the rise of the prophets. Israel was jacked up. And then I went to bed.

It’s Monday. Today, I need to just rest in the love of God, shared in His Word., and love who I can, and strive to be faithful to keep Him up front in life. When I don’t do that, I mess myself up, and short-circuit His plans for my life.