It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything, and frankly, I know there have been things to write, but I’ve either been too busy or the topics seem to big to get into a post. Time has flown by, as well. I often get home in the evenings, and once I am there, I feel “done”. However, I do have topics that bang around in my head I want to address, and I pretty much just hope I don’t forget them.

Probably the highlights of the last two weeks include spending quite a bit of time with an old friend where some romantic feelings have developed, and the introduction and my participation in the Living Free ministry at our church campus.

As for the girl, time will tell if anything develops there. We clearly like each other and recognize a strong chemistry exists between us, but the reality is we are both entrenched in our lives and responsibilities and obligations. We’re enjoying getting to know each other again, in a new a deeper way. It’s been a relationship development that has been timely and positive for both of us.

As for Living Free, Sagebrush Highland is honored to be the first campus in the Sagebrush network that is offering recovery-style groups that are normally attended en masse at the main campus on Thursday nights. At Sagebrush Highland, we are offering both a men’s open share and a women’s open share group on Sunday mornings which allow visitors to come and in private, recovery group style, deal with hurts, habits and hangups. I am happy to help co-lead the men’s group with Pete Anderson, and I particularly love it because I feel so very comfortable in the environment of the broken. As Rick Warren points out- we may not all struggle with alcoholism or heroin addiction, but we all struggle with sin, and the approaches used at Living Free, like those used in Celebrate Recovery, provide a place and space for individuals to deal with their damaged hearts. In the process, God meets us heavily and closely in the recovery processes. I am glad to be involved in the program at our campus so I can work on some of my stuff, also. I went back and visited the exciting main Living Free program at Riverside a few times in the last two months, but due to some past hurts related to a few people in it, it’s hard for me to be there. I am grateful God brought it to me at Sagebrush Highland!…

I continue to think a lot about my life relationships, past and present, and what it means to be a mature man, and the significance of shame in personal development, identity, and relationship formation. I stumbled across the TEDTalk videos by Brené Brown, and they have added some ideas to my inner deliberations on shame. She has ventured as a researcher into the topic of shame like few others, and her discoveries are significant. For me, grappling with the broad topic of shame is extremely relevant in understanding human interaction and also identity formation, from both a psychosocial and a theological perspective.

Fall is here, so my running has stalled. I don’t like cold dark mornings. I’ve been slow getting some personal things done I need to take care of. I’ve had a few good weekends fishing, including one two weeks ago with Jim Weaver- a friend from Colorado, and the Puerto Rico mission trip. I’ve been listening, like everyone else in the world, to Gangnam Style by Psy quite a bit. And more Christian music. And lately, Katy Perry’s “Wide Awake” has been the one that goes over and over on iTunes, in the background or my mind as I am working.

I’ve also seen a few movies of note in the last few weeks. For whatever reason, I wanted to revisit the Holocaust, and I ended up renting “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”. I thought the movies was ho hum and pretty tame until the ending came and knocked me over like a punch. Tim, my boss, has been suggesting French films to me that he and his wife like, so I have rented a few of his suggestions. “Sarah’s Key” was another Holocaust-related film starring Kristin Scott Thomas that told the story of a young Jewish girl who escapes from a prison camp and returns to her home, an apartment in Paris, where her brother was left behind when the local Jews were rounded up and taken away. Needless to say, the film is dark and sad, but a lovely film, nonetheless. Kristin Scott Thomas can express so many nuances of feeling through just her facial features, so the next film I watched was “I’ve Loved You So Long”, another French film featuring her as a recently released convict who went to jail for killing her son- for reasons revealed in the film. Another powerful drama featuring her spectacular acting. Those are my three recent favorites.

Just a lot of quiet time, lots of thinking, lots of wondering, lots of praying.