It’s another late night post after a long day. That seems to be the mode of late. I want to get something written up about a topic or my day, and the words don’t develop until after 10 p.m. I wish I could get past that.

Still, today was a good day, if only because Kurt and I got up and got another Loop run in this morning, beginning under the cover of dark, and enjoying a sunrise as we did our hill leg running toward the east.

Work has been good this week, but also a little tense, in part because my mind has struggled to focus, and that struggle has been amplified by three projects in the works that have demanded attention at different points throughout each day. I am definitely not a multi-tasker, and when it comes to programming, if I am distracted from one project for a short time, it takes me time and martial attention to recover where I was in what I was working on.

“Benny the Knife”, aka “Sandwich Man”

One of my favorite people at work, Ben Savoca, aka “Benny the Knife”, aka “Sandwich Man”, also worked his last day today, which means we had a little lunch for him at noon, which was good, but it also means he will not be in the office, at his desk day by day for now on.

I appreciated Ben at work because, besides his professional abilities and his courteous manner, Ben liked to laugh, and Ben and I shared a private humor channel. Ben introduced me to Electric Six and the music of Cake (in particular, the song “Nugget”, which is not really appropriate to be played at work or around kids or anywhere, but still I liked it and we would quote abridged lyrics from it at each other in passing from time to time). Ben was always also up to date on the latest internet memes, and if I had a question on one of them, or any novel web offering, Ben more than likely knew about it, and would provide ample insights on those obscure things. Ben also shared my appreciation of Mr. Trololo’s unique vocal stylings and physical features while singing. We also shared a habit of exchanging a high-five anytime I walked past his desk which was in a low-walled corral off the main office walkway. I would extend my hand over the wall at him, whatever he was doing and make a smak sound, and even if his head was down in a book or over a notepad, he would raise a free arm in my general and give whistley “fewwwww” sound. It was an automatic exchange for us that the rest of the office probably witnessed from time to time and crinkled their eyebrows at.

Ben is going to UNM to be a facility planner there. Originally from Ohio, Ben somehow made his way out to New Mexico (for work and adventure, I think), and he started at the office before I got there. Ben was always helpful to people in the office, either carrying or making or supporting projects for them. Ben is a cyclist and an advocate for safe riding and cyclist awareness in the city- and why shouldn’t he be. He biked to work every day. Ben and I also shared a few other connections and appreciations. We both went through the UNM Executive MBA program (at different times, though), and we both appreciate the comic art “Toothpaste for Dinner” drawn by some guy named Drew from Ohio. Ben was cool.

Well, it was only appropriate that I gave Ben something to remember me by, so I gave him a little framed picture.

One of the memes from the internet we found funny was the “Cool story, bro” image featuring a smiling dude in armor that looks pulled out of a coloring book on the Golden Age of King David.

The meme is funny to me because if someone says “cool story, bro” in a comment following someone else’s in a forum or discussion thread, that phrase is really a total disregard of what was just said before it. Allegedly affirming the previous comment, to those in the know, it is really disparaging it in a slick, underhanded way.

Well, somehow Ben and I got into emailing this pic back and forth and then printing versions of it and leaving on each other’s desks. Finally, I scaled the image size and fit about 50 micro versions of the image onto a sheet of paper, and then printed a few of them and cut them into square chits and then sprinkled them liberally on, and in, the books and notepads and other stuff on his desk one morning. He loved it, and found and stacked and saved those chits for play at later dates. “Cool story, bro” was our secret code phrase said in public when we weren’t sure what we were doing or what some meeting was about.

And so, naturally, I had to give him a framed picture of the “Cool story, bro” guy. It was classic, tiny, suitable for a small space on his new desk in his new office. He loved it.

After work, I decided I wasn’t really up for Living Free tonight, so I came home, but then got in touch with another old friend, Bonnie. Considering a movie for the evening, Bonnie persuaded me to go run with her in the foothills east of High Desert, meandering for a while on rising and falling trails as the sun set and then finally dropped behind the horizon in the west. After running, we were still talking about life, loves, losses, and growing through trials and grief, so we continued to walk around through the spread out neighborhoods. It was a therapeutic night for both of us, I think. The exercise was beneficial, and the conversation let us catch up on a year or so of our lives.

It is amazing, the things and the people we get stuck on, thinking that in them we will discover the fount of all joy or of all pleasure, or we will be carried away from our daily doldrums. We humans are so easily pulled away into damaging and damning circumstances when we give our hearts to the wrong objects. And the reasons as to why we do that are myriad. But the fact is we do it, and then we come to, dazed, wondering why and how we became wounded.

Bonnie’s been down a tough road. You know, a lot of people I talk to these days have been down their own tough roads. I guess in reality, all of us have. Some of us recognize that reality about our lives better than others. And some of us make better use of lessons learned from that journey to become stronger, wiser, and better people, while others of us don’t.

I like to write a lot about love because I believe that God, as it says in the Scriptures, is love. This is not to say God is inanimate energy. God is a person. But he calls himself love because at the core of all of his actions is his love. By nature, God cannot do anything that is not loving. And this is significant because it is by finding ourselves in him- by letting him take control of what he made, and by cooperating with him, we find freedom from the idols that grip our hearts and minds, and the suck life out of us. God, by his nature- love- does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He makes us new, and gives us new hearts, and teaches us again how to love, because we let him love through us. And it is by that love we can meet the trials and troubles in our lives with hope- because he will sustain us bring us through it all, and walk with us along the way- if we’ll let him.

Nice day. Ben, we’ll miss you.

Bonnie, thanks for the challenge and the commiseration. He’s not done with us yet- there is always hope in the moments ahead, not in the detritus of disappointments behind. He is the One who gives hope and healing.

That’s the Love I know.

“The Love I Know” by Pray for Rain

Now that was a cool story, bro.