I have a good friend who lost a sibling to cancer six years ago today. My friend loved her sister dearly, and she feels it every year when the anniversary comes up, if not only because she lost a sister, but also because that was one of the hardest years of her life, and her sister was one of her best friends.

Me and my friend shelved our relationship about a year ago for a range of reasons, none of which were more than differences of interests and of desired levels of involvement. I made some mistakes, she made some responses, feelings flared, and silence ensued. We both hate conflict, and with us, silence won. We quit being friends.

Still, a friend is someone you love regardless, and I know that on this date six years ago, her heart shattered, and that August 29th is hard on her and her family, so I sent her some flowers. We haven’t talked for months, and for all I know, we may never be more than acquaintances again. But in the moment, I recognized an opportunity to love her, without string, without expectations. Sometimes you just love someone because you see things in them that fill your heart with joy and intrigue, and you want their life to fly, and an opportunity comes up in which you have a chance to nurture them. You recognize you have goodness to give, but also that you may never get anything back for kindnesses shown. You end up having to accept that the reward may very well only lie in your action.

I am reminded that God is so often like this with me: gracious, ever mindful of me, aware of all of the nuances and anxieties and longings and weaknesses in me, and boundlessly and relentlessly full of love for me regardless of what I do. This is what lies behind the shroud of the Gospel- that the God who loves us always acts on our behalf in our lives, with mindfulness and tenderness, even though we live under a dark haze from the lies that the world has used to burn our hearts and rob us of life. This God is He who remains vigilant to seek out and to call out those who will love Him and accept His care. He is the God who lavishes care on those who will let Him love them. And contrary to popular conjecture, He is the God who is perpetually chasing those who do not really know Him, hoping to help them find their way back to His compassionate household. Hoping to help them find their way home to Him.

There is a simple joy felt in being able to love someone else with the realization that there may be no return for your efforts. That’s when the gift, the action, is love. Love does, with an open hand, and no eye toward reward. That’s when some health is there in your heart. You are loving like He does. You care, you act, and you go on- not waiting around for a hug or a pat on the back or a plaque to hang on the wall in your office. You go on, looking for others in your life to encourage and strengthen in a like way.

Today I realize I can do this with my friend- extend a kindness and forget about what might come of it- because He has done this with me, countless times. His grace towards each one of us is an example of His unlimited, open-handed love. And when you realize you are loved this way- with constant unmeasured support and an endless supply of kindness- you can love and not await praise for, anticipate fear from, or even consider the consequences of your loving actions. We realize we can learn to love like he does- no strings attached- because He has shown us how.

“We love (like He does), because He first loved us.” ~I John 4:19
(Parens my added thoughts)