Go, Ben, Go.
by Bruce • February 22, 2012 • LifeStuff • 2 Comments
Tonight I wanted to stop and take a moment to tell you a little bit about my friend Ben. I don’t know why, but this evening I was thinking about what he’s doing, and I am excited for him. Ben is doing something a lot of people don’t do these days.
I’ve been friends with Ben now for probably three years, in a “long distance but we get each other” sort of way. Ben is easy to become friends with because he is the kind of guy that is so easy to love. Lean and athletic, Ben is short, spunky, wry, and spry, always ready for some improv, and quick with the one-line comeback. Ben is a master at setting the stage and making people feel comfortable- and this is amazing, because Ben is a kid. Ben is about half my age, and he could have easily been my kid, if I had had one back in the day. But behind his wit and charm, which are both substantial, is a warm and honest guy, whose humor covers a sobriety and intensity about life. Though young, he looks at life through the eyes of someone who, while finding his way, wants to wring all the enjoyment and insight from it that he can.
I met Ben serendipitously through our employer during summer three years ago. My boss needed to hire a summer team that would go into local schools and survey the technology stuff that was in each building. Ben’s sister was working in our building for a sister firm, and Ben, anxious to take a break after his sophomore year of college, wanted to be near a city with film opportunities. Albuquerque was hot for possible bits in local productions. Ben’s sister let him know about the summer inventory tech job, my boss talked to Ben and liked him, and Ben ended up in Albuquerque for a few months.
I would see Ben and his fine teammates frequently over the summer because they would come back to the office after their workdays regularly and hang out in an open area near my workspace. They would all laugh and joke a lot with one another, recalling events of the day. And immediately, in the middle of this crew, this young wise-cracking blonde kid clearly amped things up, playing off of, and playing to, his colleagues as they cracked about workday events, stupid experiences, and even on occasion, my boss and his heavy-handedness. In all of the jest and sporting, Ben was still all business out in the field, and he was respected as much for his work ethic as for his good-natured humor and kindness. Ben and my boss connected with one another well early in the summer, and created a good bond as Ben’s months in Albuquerque rolled by.
Somewhere along the way during that summer, when I was mostly anchored to my desk staring at my computer, I fell in to joining the brief afternoon festivities when the inventory crew came back to the office to check in on the day, and to prep for the next. The feedback and planning parts of the gathering were always brief, but the goofing around always lingered for a bit, and often it involved watching Ben recalling a ridiculous or comical experience from the day with sharp humor. And I’d lob something in there a time or two, and somewhere along the way, we clicked.
I ended up filling in twice that summer as tech, going out to schools to find and record information about computers and software in classrooms with the other folks. On one of those days, Ben was my buddy, and once we were at the school we were surveying, Ben got down to business. He was no nonsense about capturing the data and moving efficiently from class to class. I was impressed. That day after finishing our school inventory, we went and grabbed a bite to eat and we talked about life. I learned more about who he was and what he wanted to do in life.
After that day, we were more friendly when he came by the office, and when his summer gig ended, he stuck around Albuquerque for a bit, fishing for acting parts, looking for opportunities to be around the film industry. Taking an extra semester off from college, he extra’d on a few projects, but he felt opportunities were waning for him, and school was calling him back to Ohio. Ben had a little get together before leaving Albuquerque to head back to his neck of the woods, and a third of Albuquerque was there. Well, at least a lot of people.
Ben is the kind of guy that, from the moment you meet him, he makes you feel close to him. He is thoughtful and considerate, and understands how to make others feel valued. One of my favorite gifts from Ben came from him leaving a new sticky on my computer every day for about a month when he came in the office and I wasn’t around. The stickies usually had some sort of compliment or smack on them, depending on how he felt that day. They were a small effort, but a demonstration of thoughtfulness and connection. Ben’s like that with people he cares about. He sends friends gifts out of the blue. He lets you know he cares, and for me, to see that kind of behavior in this wacky college kid was inspiring.
Well, Ben wants to work in the movies. While he was in Albuquerque, I was happy to get to spend some time with him writing up a script for a pilot episode of a sitcom we dreamed up (which was pretty good). Over the last few years, Ben has continued to work in private on developing skills behind the camera and in front of the computer, grinding out scripts while also learning how to effectively edit film. I appreciate the fact that behind Ben’s affable nature and his personableness in public, he has a focus and a drive to accomplish what he sets out to. For one, Ben is an Eagle Scout- and again, while he may be making others laugh by hamming it up one moment, his accomplishment of that designation in a day and age when kids aspire to sit at home playing Warcraft and Call of Duty six hours a night really impressed me. Ben worked to gain that award, and the drive that makes a kid reach that award generally has to come from inside the kid. Ben is one of those guys who can find visions to chase, and who then possesses the inner discipline necessary to keep after and to achieve those goals. I also got to witness Ben’s fortitude personally, when I asked him in the spring of last year if he wanted to run the Chicago Marathon with me. He agreed to do it. We trained separately but together for five months, and then in October we met in Chicago, and ran much of the 26 miles together. Well, about 17 of them really. Seeing I was holding him back near the 17 mile marker, I asked him if he wanted to go on- it’d be no problem to me. He competitively obliged, and cut a good 15 minutes off of his finish time after leaving me and taking out for the finish line. Not bad for a kid in is first marathon.
Well, Ben graduated from college last spring, and taking the advice of my boss, with a little encouragement from others thrown in, he picked up from Canton and spent the summer working housekeeping and handyman jobs at a lodge in Yosemite. Anxious at the beginning of his employ that he may have made a mistake taking that job, by the end of the summer he was grateful he had chosen to do that, instead of just hanging at home and working in some office somewhere.
In the fall of last year he went back to Canton and to his family for the holidays, and also to take care of some business on the home front.But he had been eyeing for some time when and how he would take the next step he wanted to in his life.
Some people think a lot about things they wish they could do, and they end up never doing them. Going and trying something they always wanted to, or taking the trip they always hoped to, or visiting an old friend they have always meant to. Many of us have done this. We have had aspirations we have held close at heart, about which we have said, “One day, I am going to do this.” And sadly, for many of us, too many of the “one day”s pass so that we no longer have the freedom, the resources, or the energy we need to chase the dreams, and we wake up one day realizing that those “one day”s are never going to happen.
Well, a week ago, Ben stowed away his life possessions in storage at his folk’s place, got together what he thought he would need to make a go of it in his land of hopes and dreams, and got in his car and left Canton to head west. To Los Angeles. To Hollywood.
Whatever comes of this chapter in Ben’s life, I am excited for him, and proud of him. What Ben is doing at this moment in his life is something that a lot of people forget how to do in life.
Ben is following his heart.
And I have a feeling that, out there, he’s going to do just fine.
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Ben is a big fan of MacGruber, chia seeds, mustaches, and LeBron James (not). Feel free to randomly encourage Ben through Twitter via @lolliman. View our riveting action film masterwork, inspired by the opening sequence from an episode of “The Office”, here. And make sure you join Super Fans of Ben Lolli here on Facebook. It doesn’t cost you anything, except maybe a little pride. Just a little, though.