On the Desiring God website, John Piper sits down with Doug Wilson for an interview about what it means to be a man. This interview is broken into several excerpts.

In this excerpt, Piper asks Wilson what it means to be masculine.  In short, Wilson says the hallmark of a man is this:

Men take responsibility.

Recognizing this characteristic is crucial for a man, and particularly in relation to the woman in his life, because a woman is wired to be responsive to a responsible male.  To Wilson, Biblically speaking, men were created to bear responsibility in a family unit.  The feminine is wired to support and follow masculine leadership- and is not intended to bear responsibility like a man should- based on the assumption that the man she is tied to is doing his part, and taking responsibility in the family and their relationship.

Wilson talks about three ways in which men greet responsibility in their lives: with masculinity, with machismo, and with effeminacy. The latter two ways are errant approaches for how a man should deal with responsibility.

The masculine male steps up and takes responsibility for the things in his life that he should, including specifically his life with his family.  Being masculine is not about what you can do, but about taking responsibility for what you do do. The masculine male does not hide from responsibility.

The machismo male looks like he takes responsibility for his life and his family, but in reality, he does not.  He may buy all the stuff that makes him look like a guy’s guy, but he does not take responsibility for guiding his family through life issues and decisions.  The machismo male is actually the most cowardly of the irresponsible males. By and large, the machismo male has erred on letting his tough side rule his life.

The effeminate male may be open and unabashed about it, but these men choose not to accept responsibility for the significant decisions and relationships in their lives.  They are less cowardly than the machismo male because they at least do not pretend to be responsible when they are not.  The effeminate male has erred on letting his tender side rule his life.

The masculine male strives to balance a toughness in his life with a tenderness that allows him to deal firmly with his responsibilities while being gentle and nurturing within his family when he needs to be.  When a man is masculine and deals responsibly with his life, his wife is free to respond to him as she was designed to, without a need or impulse to seize control.  By helping his wife to relax, the masculine man helps his wife to be the woman she was made to be.

Blogger’s Note: I don’t know if I accurately convey here what I think Wilson was saying in this excerpt.  He is not saying that the mark of femininity is irresponsibility. I think his point is that men were created to be responsible so that they provide a buffer between their families and the world, and so that their wives would not have to serve that role and could attend to other duties within the family life.  I am still on a journey trying to identify and to understand what traits are core characteristics of a mature man.

Source:
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-difference-between-masculinity-and-femininity