Well, it’s that time of the year again- we are officially in the holiday season.

For most of us, this period of the year is a happy time when we visit family, revisit good memories, stuff ourselves silly, and share yuletide cheer with friends and co-workers.  For some of us, though, trekking through the holidays can be a challenge- as any season in our lives can be- when we are faced with losses, disappointments, and limitations that make just getting through each day trying.

As a melancholy dude, I’ve had my lifelong struggles with dealing in down times.  Stuff happens.  A personal problem hits us that suddenly and somehow snowballs into a mini life crisis, taking us out of commission for days.  Where we were cruising along, we become stuck and stalled.  Where we felt driven and directed, we suddenly face lostness and loneliness.  You know the drill.  It happens to us all.

Well, let me share with you an exercise that I use to help me deal with down times. Feeling blue? Take some time and make a few lists. Just grab a journal or three sheets of notebook paper, get away to a quiet, comfortable place, and let your mind wander.  The three lists…

The Gratitude List

At the top of page 1, write this: “At this point in my life, God, I am thankful for…”

Let the gratitude roll.  You may be a in a tough place, but if we think about it, there are always people, places, and things we can be grateful for.  If your mind is blank on this, don’t rush it.  Just relax. This probably the best list you can make as you work on staring down your sadness.

The Bucket List

At the top of page 2, write: “As I look ahead in my life, I would one day like to…”

We all need things in life we are looking forward to, and hope alone is what leads our hearts out of darker straits.  It is good and important to have some goals and objectives in your life that you aim your future at.  When have an idea of where we want or need to go with ourselves, we can then find the fuel we need to get there.  It’s when we succumb to aimless living that we encourage depression to hang around and squat in our lives.  Be creative.  Be outlandish.  Think of things that may be hard to do.  But dream.  And then find an item or two on the list to start chasing.

The Hurdles List

At the top of page 3, write: “Right now in my life, I am frustrated or troubled by…”

List your frustrations.

The key here, after making your list (and feel free to get down as many as you can) is to then circle the ones you can make some changes about. Rate the circled items on the Hurdles list by priority.  You are going to work on knocking them out, one at a time.

Brainstorm about some steps you can take to deal with each one of these addressable issues.  For example: “I am lonely.” A suggested solution: “I can join a book club/meetup group/running club/(your hobby here)”.  Or, another one: “Money is killing me.”  A solution: “I can enlist friends to help me build a budget/figure out how to cut costs/etc.” If you are having a hard time coming up with solutions for your frustrations, it is probably a good time to lose the pride, call a valued family member or friend, and ask them to help you brainstorm.  Other people often help us see answers where we can’t find them ourselves.

Like attacking items on your Bucket List, don’t try to deal with every item on your Hurdles list at once.  Identify one or two items you need to pay attention to first, and work on taking care of those.  You can get to the next problem on your list soon enough.

Working the Lists

The purpose of the lists is to help you get focused, reminding you that there is good in your life, and encouraging you to keep your eyes on dealing with just one or two goals or concerns in front of you.  The lists are also supposed to help you get outside of yourself.  They are meant to be read, shared, and modified.

The Gratitude list is one you should come back and add to daily, and re-read it for heart fuel.

The Hurdles list is one I would recommend that should share with a family member or close friend and ask them to check in with you as you try and deal with stuff that is bringing you down. We find strength with others- not being alone.  Your family member or friend, if they love you, will probably appreciate you letting them into your life, and will be willing to encourage you.

If you feel overwhelmed thinking about making any lists or trying to deal with the issue list, then maybe a doctor visit is in order- make that item one on the Hurdles List, and get in to a doc for some help, so you can get energy to tackle other stuff.

Once you’ve made your lists, put them in a folder and take time to revisit them regularly.  Make it a goal to review them each morning or night for a month, so you can stay focused on tasks, and review progress in your heart.

Trust in God’s Grace

As a Christian, a basic tenet of my faith is the one that is the biggest in my eyes, and it talks about the character and heart of God. In the New Testament, John writes a letter to the early Christians, and he takes a moment in it to pause and reflect on a simple but all-important thought- God is love (I John 4). To me, this point is immeasurably significant because whatever is made by or done by God flows from the stuff He is made of, which, in short, is love. If God made us, and that Bible book has any relevance to life, then you and I are here because God in His love wanted us to be. We were made in love. And we were made to know love, which, in short, means we were made to chiefly know and live from Him.

Now, life doesn’t necessarily roll that way, but if God is God and unchanging, who we are to Him hasn’t changed at all either. While we’re here, though, it is hard to just see it with all the turbulence of life.  Regardless, one of the big messages I hear from the Bible is that God made us because He loves us, unconditionally.  That love for us should be a pretty powerful basis we have for finding encouragement and hope about what lies ahead in our lives.

I find that filling my mind with graceful and grateful thoughts goes a long way in countering my cloudy, cheerless thinking.  Reading about God and His grace itself helps bring light into some of my drabber days.

Down?  Start with your heart, and trust in God’s favor for you.  Take time and make some lists.  Go one day at a time, grazing on gratitude, and tracking daily triumphs. Identify a goal and a problem you want to work on, and share those pursuits with a friend.  Get some meds if you need them.

Just don’t do nothing.  You, with help, can find your way out of the dark.